Gross! Kylie Minogue needs to give up trying to find her young sexy self and deal with the fact that she’s in the afternoon of her life. These pseudo S&M promo pictures for her new album ‘X’ are as exciting as the accidental bladder leaks that I’m sure Ms. Minogue is becoming quite familiar with.

Kylie Minogue Models Her Old Lady Bikinis
Kylie Minogue’s Boring Calendar 2008
Dannii Minogue Bikini Pictures

Come on girls what the hell is this all about? I know people use halloween as an excuse to dress like complete morons but this is pushing it a little too far. Kylie Minogue and Dannii Minogue look more like a couple of different flavors of Jiffy Pop than a pair of hotties. Except you know when you heat these two up you’re not going to get delicious buttery taste.

Halle Berry’s Awe Inspiring Cleavage
Kylie Minogue’s Boring Calendar 2008
Dannii Minogue Bikini Pictures

You call this a calendar? What the f@#k! It looks like an ad for a tranny strip club and not even a good tranny strip club if their is such a thing. Now THIS is what a calender should look like, a hot chick in different bikinis with her tits hanging out. That’s it! Not some strange futuristic transgendered version of a shitty early 90’s music video which was the last time anyone would pay more than a nickel for a Kylie Minogue Calendar.

Kylie Minogue Models Her Old Lady Bikini
Kylie Minogue’s Plastic Face
Gemma Atkinson - Official Calendar 2008

This isn’t one of those “Whatever happenned to?” things, I really want to know what the hell happenned to her….. Yikes! She seems to be aging dramatically right before my eyes, seriously, from one picture to the next. And this tacky old lady biker chick get up she’s got on is making me throw up a little. She seems to have had too many face lifts but still looks kinda good walking away….Sick!

Portia de Rossi is WAY Too Hot for Ellen.
Maggie Gyllenhaal Provokes Boredom
Charlize Theron is a Real Woman

I know Kylie Minogue is getting old, her carreer is floundering, not to mention the whole cancer ordeal now she been unveiled as the new face and body of H&M’s summer swimwear line. The retailer is hoping the Kylie line will work out better than the Madonna line which resulted in clothes not exactly flying off the shelves. It amazes me that anyone would think that people are interested in buying clothes influenced by ageing popstars, this bikini reminds me of the winters I spent in Florida with my grandparents. I’m dead seious I’m sure my grandma wore that exact blue floral one….. She was ahead of her time I suppose.

The new H&M loves Kylie line, which will debut in stores in mid-May.

Gemma Atkinson and Roxanne Pallett Bikinis.
Uma Thurman Takes Her Mom Butt to the Beach.
Posh and Becks Take Her Nipples for a Walk.

I think I’m done with Kylie Minogue, seriously what the hell is all this about? The 38-year-old singer is definitely not ageing gracefully in these pictures taken at the launch of her new swimwear line for H & M. I’m as much a fan of botoxed, collagen and silicone filled Milf’s as the next superficial asshole but she looks like a Novelty Sex Doll.

Gemma Atkinson and Roxanne Pallett Bikinis.
Posh and Becks Take Her Nipples for a Walk.
Mena Suvari Needs A Job.