No matter how hard she tries Jessica Simpson can’t seem to hide those sweet t*ts of hers, not that any of you perverts mind I’m sure. In any case, she’s minding her own business when out of nowhere some douche cops a cheap feel, you can’t really blame the guy, but if you’re going to do it, do it right dipsh*t…. The guy is probably gayer than a fanny pack full of rainbows but that’s no excuse, my elbows get more action at the clubs…. Accidentally of course.

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