I wish I was a Cambodian Baby.

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One moment you’re roaming around your MUD HUTTED village playing with your own EXCREMENT, the next you’re yelling at your Mexican nanny “YOU CALL THIS A FRICKIN’ LATTE?”. And those little FUCKERS, the other day, have the NERVE to ring my door, get me out of my bath, and beg Me for money AND candy. You don’t see any Cambodian movie stars coming to my village to take me away from all this SHIT. What the FUCK? I couldn’t get my garden hose fast enough.

Life just ain’t fair sometimes.

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Paz Vega – Making Pants Tight(er)at the Latin Grammy’s.
Michelle Rodriguez Lives in my Old Apartment.
Carmen Electra is “Smart”.

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